I should have went home. I'm so stupid. I'm so childish.

4 more days of April left

another teddy bear came. he's comfortable, i feel great.

but at the same time, i'm scared. i'm scared of that naive side of me, believing everything. i dun wanna get hurt again. can i trust him?

i hope he can prove to me that he is worth.

i cant be so stupid anymore. i must wait..

God, thank you for the chance.

i hate my gastric pains

hold on

i messed it up.

i dunno what's going on.

i dun understand those behaviors.

i dunno what to do now.

but i know, i'm not gonna stay put.

i dun want it anymore. i dun wanna care anymore...

M.S.

i feel like i'm a stalker. wanna keep track of everything that involves ...

again, it's the excitement. but i still dunno how i should start. well, i dunno how to do this.

and again... i'm thinking of... seriously, i'm wondering if i have depression.

snow white

You are the sweetest person anyone can meet. You are beautiful and very caring. You're hard-working, and you love to help others and do chores. But sometimes, your innocence and kindness can lead you to trouble. Your life may not be the best, but keep being yourself, and your life will get better.

if i were to get a tattoo, it would be 2 halves of me at war with each other. that's how i feel all the time...

these days...

it's like, the pounding in my head never stop.

i dun wanna speak, i have no energy to speak. my voice breaks when i do.

i was so excited. my plans for April... but the wait seems to be so long...

stop! stop the headache!!!! stop all the muscle aches! stop!

what is wrong?! i never have headaches like this before... i dun like the headaches...

i felt so motivated. then, when nothing happens. the waiting, head pounding...

i felt a bit lost. i thought i knew where i was going. but things dun go as planned, as i saw it... my schedule messed up. now suddenly i have a lot of time, then suddenly everything is in the mid year. aww man!

i'd rather be busy than be bored. at least when i'm busy the headaches are all short term as i keep my focus on work. i cant work at home.

i need that magic. that magical feeling that keeps me going... that magical feeling that will make me feel light, make me feel beautiful, make me feel confident, make me hard working... why that sudden lack of motivation? i dun understand it myself...

i know what i wanna get done in April. but, actually, i feel a little unstable... i musnt fail.

i wanna go to somewhere peaceful... take a stroll on the beach, drink some cocktails... take a dip in the waters... hold someone's hands... let the sun warm my skin.. smell the sea breeze...

i must do it. it's April.